As I write, today is the first official day of summer. Like the rest of the year we can’t predict exactly what to expect when it comes to the weather. There will be warm days, even some that are hot, but which is which depends on one’s tolerance for heat. There will be rain. We pray it’s sufficient for crops and forests - coming at exactly the right time according to our way of thinking. There will be cloudy days and sunny days, windy days and stormy ones too. Whether it’ll be a great summer, mediocre, or poor depends on one’s perspective.
For me this summer will be very different than last year but that’ll have little to do with the weather. In fact it’ll be very different than some 45 plus past summers. I will mark its long days and inevitably ever changing weather (this is Edmonton) without Carole. Whether in hospital or at home she won’t be there to share the trivia of the day, to laugh with and cry, to plan with and celebrate, to be upset at times with each other but always to get past that. It will be different, more different than I ever imagined. As some of you know too well, it will have its own changing weather patterns of emotions.
There’ll be moments too dark to describe – at times an almost despairing sense of isolation in spite of multitudes of caring people walking beside me while weathering their own storms. There’ll be questions and self-doubt as the storm of grief rages within and I wonder what God had in mind. What was He, and is He, thinking? Will I make it? Do I care? There’ll be moments of light and hope as through the clouds faith keeps calling me to look up, catch the sun high in the sky and recall the glories of heaven Scripture so plainly records. And there’ll be feelings of connectedness as I hear the words of the Preface to Holy Communion, “Therefore with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven...” It’s as if heaven’s windows have opened and our earthly hymns rise to join theirs. Suddenly we’re together again singing praise to the Lamb.
It will be a different summer, and fall, and winter…but as I watched storm clouds the other night race across the sky I remembered the simple words of Psalm 46. “Be still and know that I am God.” No matter what – He is, has been, and always will be our refuge and strength, our ever-present help in times of trouble. Though our journey at times may be storm-filled we’re never abandoned. As the VBS song tells it, “With Jesus in my boat I can smile at the storm.” Sometimes I can, but sometimes I do so with tears. My prayer for you this summer, no matter what the weather, may Jesus help you smile!
Pastor Larry
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